Yeah, I really wonder why am I whining bout life again. After so long, I've tried to hide that element which makes us feel upset and down... it's here haunting me again... I'm having the mixed-feeling dilemma again...
Many have said bout their unhappiness with their current job, location they are placed, their life and ecetera, ecetera, ecetera... of course, much have also been said bout upcoming weddings, child-births and etc. And so I thought it's perfectly normal to talk bout this at this age where we are all going to touch 30 in a wink of an eye.
Michele was also talking to me bout how serious my relationship is with Ed, knowing that he's the kind that "I have so much time in the world, why hurry?" kindda person, Michele asked if we have plans for the future. Of course, we have talked bout it but then again... I somehow feel that Ed try to avoid the topics at times. I'm trying to understand his situation and just pretended nothing happened and so life moved on till now. Sometimes, I really wonder... is there a planned future for us in him? I wonder again... Many have asked me bout marriage and I just turn a deaf ear, ignoring the whole conversation or choose to take it as a joke, but deep down inside, I just don't have the answer... I really don't. It hit me again when weddinig invitations start pouring in (no, I'm not in a hurry to tie the knot, but the age facto is coming in for me to reconsider) and looking at some of my friends who are already into their 2nd baby, it kindda worries me what will happen if i'm 50 and my kid is only 10? my oh my... and the fact is, no one wanna be an old-bride!
But then again... the fact that marriage needs financial stability really worries me a lot! and the commitment from both parties. I am quite afraid too looking at the relationship problems faced by some of my friends who got married earlier. So there's always a pro and cons to everything that we do... dilemma...
But one thing for sure... I'm not gonna initiate it... if no one mentions, then we shall just remain happy singles for the rest of my life... sad huh?
Posted at 8/19/2009 10:11:43 am by
weihan_hong
